Monday, November 12, 2007

FAKE BOOBS

I am sorry if the word "boob" is offensive but I don't think a fake one should sport the term "breast" breast just sounds so real, boobs are fake. Anyway I joined a new gym and actually worked out there today for the first time. Now, my old gym, the one in AZ, was infested with strippers (email me and I will tell which one), I am not joking. They all worked at the Pussycat lounge in Phoenix. It was drama every time I went. I had my gym friends one of which happened to be a 29 year old single guy who was in great shape and very cute. He had a girlfriend, and a stripper was hitting on him a lot and the girlfriend would cry and storm off if he even talked to the stripper. Well I found out she would freak out if he even talked to me, so needless to say I stopped going to this gym because I am too old and too married for this kind of drama. The girlfriend of this guy, who did cheat with the stripper by the way, had HUGE FAKE BOOBS, and of course so did the stripper. The stripper who was only 21 years old got even BIGGER BOOBS and I was always interested to watch her walk around the gym getting gawked at........hmmmm. Interestingly enough the guy wasn't interested in the stripper for any sort of meaningful relationship only a temporary sex fix, and back he went to the girlfriend. The reason I bring this up is because I am happy to report that my new gym was very free of scantily clad women with big huge fake boobs to show off.........very refreshing. I also have come to the conclusion that women who have fake boobs are by nature EXTREMELY INSECURE women. Now I have friends with fake boobs so don't get me wrong girls.......perhaps there are some legit purposes, ok if you look like a 12 year old boy then by all means get some boobs I have no problem with it. But do you have to get basketballs and thrust your shoulders back so far that they poke out to the MOON...........These are the women of such insecurity! They are so self-obsessed with their looks that they prance around like FREAKING STUFFED TURKEYS hoping every guy around them is pitching a tent! I would submit to you that MOST women who are getting new big boobies are NOT doing it for their husbands, but they still have this unfettered desire to be the object of EVERY MANS desire, or their husband looks at porn. One or the other. So let me have it if you think I am off base here. I can only say that I am happy with the regular women and men that accompanied me at the gym today!!! Good-bye strippers, it was fun watching you strut around the gym acting like you were working out and causing all the other women to double check their self-esteem.........and the men to quadruple check you............I may not have the most perfect body but I like who I am. Men do want a woman with substance not a woman who obsesses insecurely about her looks..........it gets pretty boring after a while. I AM OUT..........WOBBILY BITS AND ALL!!!!

5 comments:

icanseeclearlynow said...

hey nik, guess what? for years i obsessed about how small my breasts were. i lamented, pined and even poked fun at myself. i wasn't the bod of a 12 year old boy, but i never thought i was anything to look at either. it's only since getting remarried that i let it go. i actually thought about getting implants before i was married. but then i found out you have to have surgery on them every five years, like getting a tune-up and i scratched it. LOL!!

later gator.

:)

Nikki said...

Hey there........trust me the other side of the hill (no pun intended) isn't so grassy either. I have been busty my whole life....I needed a womans bra in the 4th grade, no lie. I will spare you the ugly details of size but let's just say Nordstrom sent me to a specialty shop to get fitted........whatever. That is why I can't figure out why women want the back pain and the jokes and the bigger shirt sizes. I would love to jump on the trampoline without getting a black eye!!!........Nikki

Anonymous said...

Nikki,
You crack me up! Fake boobs and all! I belonged to that gym also and it was really bad. I can happily report that not all gyms in AZ are that bad, I belong to one now that is pretty normal! Could it have been the Val Vista area?? Hhhhhhhmmmmm? I dont have a problem with fake boobs unless they are in your face all the time. I am hoping mine will shrink a bit so I can button my blazers and jackets again (prepregnancy size). I am glad you are working out. You will need it to survive the yucky Utah winters-its better than prozac!
-Susan

Nikki said...

Hey Susan.......if I remember correctly you worked out at a much more decent hour than I did. that was probably my problem. I am glad to have found a place to keep my pants from getting too tight!! I am surprised I can get SOME of my jeans on.....oh dear. call me soon.
Nikki

ba and the boys said...

i love looking for fake boobs on women! ok-you know i am in a happy marriage and all, but to see a woman almost fall over on her face because she got fakeys is hysterical! my husband likes to look for fake ones too, but i bet not for the same reason...
ps-one of the best complements i ever got was a freind who told me that she thought I had fake boobs! it made my day that at 36 they still looked good. done bragging now.