You would have to think you were pretty awesome to run for President of the United States. You will in fact be the most powerful person in the world and the most hated. You will enjoy high approval ratings, low approval ratings and perhaps toilet ratings. But the EGO is what I want to address, because for some it is and will be their downfall. Americans like a humble leader. That is why we act like we can do better than the President by ripping on the him from our blogs and running things from where we sit. That's freedom of speech. We get to make blanket statements of how stupid and idiotic the President is, and get to place blame on how he has ruined our lives and our country. We do it all to keep the President humble because we are in fact smarter and more informed than him. His CIA briefings are probably false when we disagree and true when we agree, so we get to preside with little information and yet feel justified in our assessments. The information we seek is to support our positions so we can make our points without looking too biased or uninformed. But in reality we fill our arsenals of ammo for the candidate we like and the same arsenal is filled with ammo for the ones we don't. It is ALL perception with few facts. So let's assess the humilty of these candidates. It may be time to put their ego's in check so they can keep begging for our votes. This really is the only time that we can effectively get them to kiss our asses. So here is a collective memo to past and present candidates so full of themselves that they are running for the Presidency of this great nation. Keep it real people.
Rudy Giuliani: He really thought he could win by running in the big states and not the "insignificant" small states. This was his strategy, to ignore most of the country and then sweep in and take it all with the bigger more important states. Only an egotistical New Yorker would think this way. He never did run on an American ticket. He was, as we all know, the "President of New York" during 9/11. Talk about living in the glory days. It's not about terrorism. It's about hope stupid!
Bill Richardson: Are you kidding me with this guy? If I had to hear about his stinking resume one more time I think I was going to implode. He talked a good game, but dude you have oompa loompa hair and Americans need someone with cooler hair to be President. His ego was so big he couldn't help but spew his accomplishments every debate. It was like a morphine to the ears. His ego told him he actually had a chance because of his "experience". He was condescending in the debates and wouldn't ever SHUT IT! People who like the sound of their own intellectual voices are popcicles.
Mitt Romney: As an LDS person I can give the goods on this one from personal experience. There are definite Mormon stereotypes and they are all true. Mormons are easy to make fun of for several reasons, most of them cultural. If there was a type of Mormon I LOVE to make fun of it would be the Romney type. Perfect and gorgeous BYU types. Ann Romney is so sticky sweet you would get a cavity just talking to her. Their kids are perfect. Their house is perfect. Their life is perfect. They have tons of money and by golly if you want a better life look at the way they live and you will achieve a family like the Romney's. America for some reason needs a little suffering from the person in office. Some vulnerability helps you connect with people because there is an empathetic draw. George was a drunk and overcame it. This was not a negative to many Americans because they could relate. And so the ego of Mitt thought he was ready for the biggest job in America because his ego told him he could woo us to his beacon of example. And so he lost because he could never show weakness and empathy for Americans that do indeed have lives of struggle. I did vote for him, I thought he was hot.
Mike Huckabee: I don't like Mike Huckabee. I don't care that he can crack jokes and can hang with his homeys on Saturday Night Live and look cool. He Suckabees. Every time this guy opened his mouth he sounded like an elementary school teacher that had to speak in kindergarten terms so the stupid voters could understand him. Maybe that is how they roll in Arkansas, but most af us are fairly educationed and we can understandate when a politician speaks very, very slowlyish. His ego kept him in the media spotlight and he always had something hill-billy funny to say. Mr. Comedian debater. Gosh Gomer, thanks for dumbin down yer answers!
Hillary Clinton: Hillary Clinton can't open her fat trap without cackling. She really thinks her tenure as first lady gave her a shoe in for the Oval Office. Her ego is so big she actually thought she had the nomination in the bag and damn that Obama for being more articulate than her. She tried the race card, the cry card, the Saturday Night Live card, the pillow card, the experience card, the "I am woman hear me roar" card, the affirmative action card, the victim card, the Stewart "look what I can do" card, the "I already made change" card and now she is trying to belly-ache her way into Michigan and Florida. Nice going DNC aka Howard Dean, your egos are going to kick out a winner AGAIN(winner meaning loser).
John McCain: Sorry John McCain is not going to get it. He's my candidate so he gets a pass. He has an ego but I am not going to address it. Libs feel free to comment.
Barack Obama: He in my book is the winner of the biggest, hugest, fattest ego of them all. Ms. Toohollywood made an insightful comment that struck me on a different Obama rip session. She said that it would appear that he has "lost his sense of humility". A very astute observation. Obama-mania is so hyped that perhaps he felt so invincible that he forgot his Achilles heal, Reverend Wright? Seriously. He didn't think this was going to be an issue? Did he forget about the white moderate republicans and democrats that had moved to his camp? How could he miss this huge gaffe? I can only assume that his ego thought he could give one of his amazing speeches and the magic would take care of it. He will win the nomination. The general has to be questioned at this point. No need to put hand over heart to show resect and honor to your country. No EGO problem there.
And of course they all think in "ALL of their awesomeness" they can fix ALL of the problems in America. Maybe they can, we have seen the formula before. Promise, fight, blame and lie because the job was much easier on the stump. Ego isn't necessarily a bad thing, it is needed for esteem purposes. Politicians are all egotistical and of course so are we for thinking we can blog them into defeat or victory. But America loves a train wreck and the bigger the crash the more we cheer. It really is inevitable. Build them up so we can tear them down. That's what we do. It's the American way.