Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Assessing The Future and Other Randomness
The political season is so stinking boring right now. As I hop around all the blogs, writers are digging down deep for something to blog about. From drilling oil to the long and drawn out analysis of some intricate aspect of politicking. OOPS, sorry I dozed-off for a second. The news is slow and other than an on again off again relationship of smelly celebrities, Americans it would appear, are not that interested in politics or the news. I could blog about Obama every day and what a "typical" politician he is, but until it is career ending information, it gets a bit redundant to harp on his poor judgement. I did see one car yesterday with an Obama sticker. I rolled my eyes and stuck my finger out the window and flipped the person off while screaming obscenities...OK not really, but I thought about it, only because they cut me off and I thought "typical democrat driving like they own the road". Then as I went and put gas in my car, I saw a lot of other people putting gas in their cars and buying food at the grocery store. People were smiling and being friendly. It didn't seem like the country was falling into a pit of hot tar, but maybe Obama is right and it is, I just don't see it.
I scurried on my way and had thoughts of what my life would be like under an Obama administration. I thought about celebrities smiling more and saying things like "I am staying in America, I love it here now" and "I want to dedicate this award to President Obama who has made America respected abroad again and now I can travel throughout Europe without people saying f- you, you bleeping American, I thank him for that". It will be nice to see the "in" crowd back in the White House. John Cusack staying in the Lincoln room. Will i am rapping in the Oval office. George Soros and Michael Moore wetting themselves and doing documentaries of how Obama just may be the Messiah. It will be a Hollywood bash for an inaugural. He'll get all the big names, while Bush had to rely on a few has been country stars and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. The tables will turn. Instead of Republicans calling dissenters un-patriotic and liberals going ape shit on conservatives, it will be liberals calling conservatives racist for any criticism of the bi-racial President. Cuba will become our best friend and a model for our money sucking government. There will be "rich people" resentment and "poor people" upliftment. Our enemies will be treated like legitimate leaders with causes that we should "understand" and Obama will lay them on the couch of therapy "talks" to sooth them from a childhood trauma that may have caused the desire to kill us all. The war on terror will go on the back burner because its really just an over-hyped, alarmist issue from a war-mongering President who wants to take over the world. In the media it will be Bush has created a suffering and downtrodden America and he sucks and everything Obama will do will be magical and orgasmic. The state of the union will be met with the wave, lighters, fainting, two-fisted cheers, hallelujahs, chest bumps, high fives, chants and sobbing.
Obama, the figment of our imagination, will give America her celebrity President she has always wanted. So I want to thank President Bush for making us so safe that we can now concentrate on what really matters, status in the world, lowering gas prices, global poverty, universal health care paid for by hardworking Americans, leaving a war unfinished and higher taxes for the wealthy SMALL business owners. So maybe there is something to bitch about after all. Our next President may be a democrat and he and his do nothing congress will actually do something and that my friends will be blogging material. You will find me on the therapy couch needing soothing. And one more thing...I can look forward to the day when my freaking blogger spell checker will know that I am spelling OBAMA correctly. I can only "hope".