Thursday, September 18, 2008
THE PRESIDENT IS THE "DAD" OF AMERICA
Yesterday my son who is 10, asked me exactly what the Presidents job is. I took the opportunity to tell him. I said that basically it was to take responsibility for everything bad that happens in this country. You know like hurricanes, mortgage crises, terror, jobs, other peoples stupidity, high gas prices, teen pregnancy, aging movie stars, ugly neighbors, smelly socks, clogged toilets, bad breath, weight gain, zits, crooked teeth, salmonella poisoning, murders, rapes, unwanted pregnancies, cankles, disease, a zero balance in your checking account, cellulite, gray hair, skinny lips that need collagen, your husbands affair, your wife's affair, your leaky roof, the dishes not being done, the fact that you have to choose gas over botox, gay anger, black rage, illegal immigrants who steal jobs, any minority victimology on the planet rage, movie star moving rage, a stomach ache, migraines, bad gas, your fat ass, your bad grades, and all other infirmities that may or may not occur under their tenure.
All in all the President is responsible for our lives...at least according to democrats who are now Obamacrats. The President is basically your Dad. You can go to him when you are broke and need money or need to borrow the keys to his car. He will pay for your insurance and of course fill the tank so you can go on your merry way. You will undoubtedly be on the DAD scholarship when in college so he will kick in some new clothes and free hospital visits as well. He will take credit for paying for all these daddy responsibilities, but in reality its really your neighbor who works hard and makes a good living who is paying for these things. We will call him the Sugar Daddy. You see he can "afford" it. It makes him a "patriot" to pay higher taxes so that your other daddy can buy you nice things. This my son is what the Presidents job is. He is the guy who will make it all better for you. He will put the band-aid on your knee and make the bleeding stop. He is the tampon of our lives. He is the Dad of this country, so when you are traveling the road of life remember this...Bush made your life suck and Obama is the Prozac to your angst. The American people have turned into Veruca Salt and the President is our Dad handing over whatever it is we want. The old Dad will take the blame for our current needed therapy and you can bill the new dad. And if we don't get it then you will be replaced. Now I want a golden goose and I WANT IT NOW! That my son is the Presidents job.