Saturday, November 29, 2008
OBAMA WHO? and SCARY ROSIE
I have been on a news diet. I stopped watching and reading soon after the election because I couldn't stomach the collective media Obasm anymore. Never have I seen anyone receive more accolades for accomplishing absolutely nothing, but that is beside the point and a different subject. The point is I no longer feel like the sky is falling, the world is ending or that the United States is in a financial downfall comparable to the great depression. I realized after shutting off the negativity, that we really are NOT as a country, going to pot. Though, the media would like to ride that self-fulfilling story all the way to the poor house, or at least until Obama is in office and then the financial crisis will magically disappear. Much like the Bush Sr. era of mass homelessness that disappeared under the Clinton umbrella almost immediately. It will be the same. So, I highly recommend a news diet. Stop watching and reading ANY news just for one week. You will find yourself a much happier person. Your need to self-medicate will go down sharply and you will begin to say things like "Obama who"? Yep, I have no idea who that is anymore. And I care even less than I did before about him and his millions of idiot followers in and outside of America. It really feels good.
I am not going to lie. For a while there our TV and computer were in grave danger. The throw mama off the train scenario was gonna happen to these two boxes if I were to see this Obama guy's big fat mug and huge ears one more time on the boob tube or the internet. I was gonna snap like a battered woman in a Lifetime movie. It really is and was overkill. But now I can't recall anything about that guy with the funny name and even funnier foreign policy policy. Its all a fog, a daze, a memory shoved under the mound of worthless television drama's I have watched instead. Whew, its been great. No, President-elect Obama signs on stupid podiums. No, First Mommy Michelle I am from Hell Obama stories. No "What kind of dog are you going to get?" Mr. Obama type press conferences. No "What are you feeling Mr. Obama?" from Barbara WA-WA. None of the gay (gay meaning lame) media Obasaming all over themselves. NONE whatsoever. Though, I did turn on the TV one day and see that big fat worthless lesbian, Rosie O'Donnell. I don't care that she is a lesbian or that she is a big fat one. I do care that she has her own TV show and kisses her stolen kids with that mouth. She is a psycho that happens to be a lesbian and I must mention it because her lesbian-ness does in fact define her entire existence. So feel free to throw the homo-phobe label at me, I don't care because she is one homo that does indeed scare me to freaking death, no joke. I am a Rosie-O-phobe. If I ran into her in a dark alley I would probably pee my pants and cry like a little hetero-sexual girl and run like Bambi for the thicket. Just sayin'. But fortunately for all of us her show tanked and will hopefully be gone soon. Not real soon because she is a scary lesbian and all.
So here I sit happy and content with absolutely no clue what is happening in the world and have shoved the election of that one guy down into the caloric abyss of my political appetite...I can't remember his name. And as the weight of the political world has melted off of my shoulders, ass and gut, I will soon be indulging in the sweet, sweet binge of criticism soon. Good-bye political anorexia, I am back to binge, indulge and then PURGE!