Saturday, November 29, 2008

OBAMA WHO? and SCARY ROSIE


I have been on a news diet. I stopped watching and reading soon after the election because I couldn't stomach the collective media Obasm anymore. Never have I seen anyone receive more accolades for accomplishing absolutely nothing, but that is beside the point and a different subject. The point is I no longer feel like the sky is falling, the world is ending or that the United States is in a financial downfall comparable to the great depression. I realized after shutting off the negativity, that we really are NOT as a country, going to pot. Though, the media would like to ride that self-fulfilling story all the way to the poor house, or at least until Obama is in office and then the financial crisis will magically disappear. Much like the Bush Sr. era of mass homelessness that disappeared under the Clinton umbrella almost immediately. It will be the same. So, I highly recommend a news diet. Stop watching and reading ANY news just for one week. You will find yourself a much happier person. Your need to self-medicate will go down sharply and you will begin to say things like "Obama who"? Yep, I have no idea who that is anymore. And I care even less than I did before about him and his millions of idiot followers in and outside of America. It really feels good.
I am not going to lie. For a while there our TV and computer were in grave danger. The throw mama off the train scenario was gonna happen to these two boxes if I were to see this Obama guy's big fat mug and huge ears one more time on the boob tube or the internet. I was gonna snap like a battered woman in a Lifetime movie. It really is and was overkill. But now I can't recall anything about that guy with the funny name and even funnier foreign policy policy. Its all a fog, a daze, a memory shoved under the mound of worthless television drama's I have watched instead. Whew, its been great. No, President-elect Obama signs on stupid podiums. No, First Mommy Michelle I am from Hell Obama stories. No "What kind of dog are you going to get?" Mr. Obama type press conferences. No "What are you feeling Mr. Obama?" from Barbara WA-WA. None of the gay (gay meaning lame) media Obasaming all over themselves. NONE whatsoever. Though, I did turn on the TV one day and see that big fat worthless lesbian, Rosie O'Donnell. I don't care that she is a lesbian or that she is a big fat one. I do care that she has her own TV show and kisses her stolen kids with that mouth. She is a psycho that happens to be a lesbian and I must mention it because her lesbian-ness does in fact define her entire existence. So feel free to throw the homo-phobe label at me, I don't care because she is one homo that does indeed scare me to freaking death, no joke. I am a Rosie-O-phobe. If I ran into her in a dark alley I would probably pee my pants and cry like a little hetero-sexual girl and run like Bambi for the thicket. Just sayin'. But fortunately for all of us her show tanked and will hopefully be gone soon. Not real soon because she is a scary lesbian and all.
So here I sit happy and content with absolutely no clue what is happening in the world and have shoved the election of that one guy down into the caloric abyss of my political appetite...I can't remember his name. And as the weight of the political world has melted off of my shoulders, ass and gut, I will soon be indulging in the sweet, sweet binge of criticism soon. Good-bye political anorexia, I am back to binge, indulge and then PURGE!

14 comments:

ba and the boys said...

i love the lifetime reference! classic!
if i could be promised that if i stop watching tv, i will get skinny-id so do that diet! i actually record the news, then when i watch it and it comes to anything negative, i skip thru it. that way i get all the fluff that is on the news, but nothing bringing me down.

Marci said...

I stick with the Weather Channel, the locals on the 8's. Even they have turned to fear mongering, but you can't get much purer than the actual temperature outside. For awhile my kids thought this was my favorite channel!

It's Me said...

Girly! Love the post! I don't watch television or listen to the radio. My only contact with the news is on the web. I control it. Somedays I'm a news freak, others I'm not. I know what ya mean by saying "news skinny." Feels good at times!

As for Rosie.....I only like her when she is bitch slapping Elizabeth ...

namaste said...

i'm with you on politics and the news, nik. obama who? yes, i have tuned it all out. even in the supermarket lines i avert my eyes from the tabloids.

as for rosie. *sigh* she is a waste of space. that show of hers was dead in the water before it aired as far as i could see.

you did it again, nik! another great rant with great points. ;)

WomanHonorThyself said...

G'mornin my friend!:)..I'm still kinda on a news diet myself..lol

Sandi said...

Dang, I was beginning to be afeared thet your Obama-bashing was going to stop! But I see we have some good times ahead!

As for Rosie, I'm glad her show is during the day when I'm usually too busy to accidentally turn it on. Sort of like Jerry Springer. I'm sure her show will die within a few months.

Chuck said...

I used to think Rosie was an idiot until she started on the "Bush caused the buildings to fall on 9/11" horsesh!#. Then I realized she is really nothing more than a raving lunatic. I think you really have to consider the possibility that she truly is insane.

EDGE said...

Great picture of Rosie...uggg. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Righty64 said...

Hey, I endure watching Mr. Big Ears and the adulation. Have to have something to blog about, right?! But, the sky is not falling. The world is not ending. It is just a chance to regroup. And I think that there will be a lot more than politics once Mr. Big Ears actually DOES take office. As far as Rosie the Cow, I can only ask how SHE can be a parent to children?! She really needs help. And soon. And so does her partner. Frightening!

Larry T Durham said...

Stop it Nikki, I'm hyper-ventilating! "binge, indulge and then PURGE!" Bwahahaha!

And what exactly happens after an Obasm?: a desire to shoot a smoker and raid somebody elses fridge? To cuddle with the riveting Rosie? Bleeeech!

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

"Binge, indulge and then PURGE!"... I agree, Larry: it's a Nikki classic for the ages.

Thanks for the laugh, Nikki. The news has put me in a foul mood this morning, and your post and your advice to let it all go were just what was needed.

Nikki said...

Thanks El Cerdo and Larry, you guys are too nice! :)N

Ducky's here said...

That reminds me, isn't it a shame none of the paparazzi got the shot of Cindy McCain in the ladies room after dinner sticking the feather down her throat?

Clay said...

Man they put a lot of makeup on that nasty woman!