Thursday, May 28, 2009

THE EMERGENCE OF THE OBAMA-GAY


Let's face it, real men aren't liberal. Just like real men don't eat quiche, real men are not liberals. I don't make the rules, I only point them out on my blog and help you all to understand what is really going on in the world. One of my favorite topics is men. Every woman knows what makes them tick, sex, sex and more sex. It isn't rocket science. A mans brain can in fact be dormant for up to 8 hours, YES! 8 hours of nothing, until they think about sex. Don't take it personal dudes, just accept it, own it and we will try to deal with your empty headed passion. OK don't go ballistic, I don't mean to generalize, ok I do, but I know there are men out there who think about sports, guns, cars, tools and porn eerrr love, too. 5% of the time you love us women like there was no...whoa, check out the tires on that truck! Its your genetic make-up, we don't blame you. At any rate, there is an emerging force out there. A strange form of sexuality never seen before. There has always been homo-sexuality, where one is attracted to ones own gender. There has always been "A" sexuality, those not interested in sex at all and hetero-sexuality(no need to mention all the weirdo sexualities out there). But, I don't think there has ever been Obama-gays until now. An Obama-gay or homobama, is a hetero-sexual male who is attracted to women, but finds himself strangely and oddly attracted to Barack Obama, and yes I mean sexually. The liberal hetero-sexual male is finding himself strongly attracted to Obama. Its Obama-love. He is an Obama-gay. A homobama. He has an Ofactuation. He makes him travel where no hetero-sexual man has traveled before. A new frontier of line item man love. They can't quit him. They feel all warm inside when he speaks, walks, jokes, waves and laughs. Its a man-crush so severe that it has the straight donkey male so confused they act like school girls in a High School Musical movie. I expect to see them singing as if in a Broadway musical while merely walking down the street. They say to themselves, "I love my wife, my girlfriend, my mistress, my hooker but I feel something for this...MAN." You might be an Obama-gay if...you ever find yourself asking the question..."Do you think there is a chance Obama would ever do Playboy?" And if you see yourself purchasing the issue with Obama right in the center of your "reading material" you are an Obama-gay.
We all know the liberal male is lacking in size. Nothing personal, but would you ever hear a conservative republican male say something about Obama's HEART? NO! Maybe about a fellow dude's guns, truck, 4-wheeler or his 20 year old girlfriend with a couple of big talents, but not his HEART. I mean this has GAY all over it. Have you ever seen anything like the slobbering male reporter? Matt Lauer, Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann, only to mention a few for lack of time and space, are supposed to be men of the hetero type. They are the new poster-children of the Obama-gay. They love women, but love Obama so, so, so much.
There are few true hetero-sexual men left in the democratic party and its tragic that no one is fighting their extinction. Like the whales, no one wants to save them. The emotional male democrat is no longer the masculine, asshole republican male we know and love. Run away from your feelings men on the left. Get back to the days of being an emotionless dick addicted to sports, big guns, motorcycles and porn. This is your DNA, not..."Obama sends a thrill up my leg" you homo-sexocrats. EW. Stop it already with the Obama man-love. It is creeping me out!!

6 comments:

namaste said...

you left out charlie gibson and colin powell. how right you are on this, nik! there's definitely some sexual tension building. these guys are really over the top with their obama-love.

talking about hope and love and his heart?! WTF?! it's a girlie party.

i might have to bitch-slap one of em.

;)

Bungalow Bill said...

With a name like Colin it's automatic, right?

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Nikki, this is a scream! But I really wonder if this is accurate:

There are few true hetero-sexual men left in the democratic party and its tragic that no one is fighting their extinction.

Hopefully that's false. I mean, the Democratic Party has always been the party of lusty, zesty men. Gary Hart, Bill Clinton, Charles S. Robb, his father-in-law Lyndon Johnson, the brothers Kennedy, Eliot Spitzer, Jim McGreevey - er, bad example... anyway, you get the idea. These guys have been the epitome of fun, in a scandalous way. It would be a shame to see them go the way of the dinosaur, to be replaced by the Homobama phenomenon you describe, embodied by the likes of Olbermann, Matthews, et al.

Ducky's here said...

Let's face it, real men aren't liberal.

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No they're leftists. How many times do you have to be told the difference? I swear, you right wing bed wetters will never catch on.

Chuck said...

Up side, maybe they'll stop making little liberals :-)

Sandi said...

Very funny! I especially love the "honey I love you...look at the tires on that truck" part. I've been married to both a Dem and a Repub. Both with SDS.