Wednesday, May 20, 2009

GUANTANAMO? HMMMM DUH, I DON'T KNOW?

Soooooo, let me get this straight: President Extraordinaire the academically superior, brilliant, masterful, articulate, the complete polar intellectual opposite and nemesis to George W. Bush was denied funds from Congress to close Gitmo by HIS OWN PEEPS, because he doesn't have a plan for the closing of Gitmo. BBBWWWWAAAAHHHH!!! WHEW! I realize that was one long-ass sentence, but its what's in the output of my lobe and I can not deflect.
Obama has no plan. The ruler of the free world and not so free world, has no plan. NO clue. NADA. None. Zilch. He's got nothin'. An empty canvas. A blank stare, like a deer in headlights. A resounding D'OH! was heard on capitol hill. A brain fart. He is a total tool, and not the sharpest one in the shed. Not playing with a full deck is he? Did his brain go on vacation? Did he forget to take his ginko? He has no idea where to put the prisoners. He just knows that saying "I AM GONNA CLOSE GITMO" gets him some loud ass cheers and lighter swaying from the pot smoking wankers when he says it in a fantastic and mind-blowing speech. He accompanies the "CLOSE GITMO" crowd gasm grabber with some stupid sanctimonious BS about how America and her moral standing will shine like a beacon on a hill once again...yadda, yadda, yadda. Water board me now and I will tell you everything you want to know you torturist bastard. This is too painful. PAINFULLY FUNNY! Obitmo PROMISED that he would close Gitmo within a year after his inauguration. Now his own party has asked the all important question of "WHERE THE HELL SHOULD WE PUT THESE ENEMY COMBATANTS THAT WANT TO KILL US MR. PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD?" Follow that up with, "We would be glad to give you some money that we don't have, but whatcha gonna do with those nice little terrorists after you kiss them on the forehead?" Hmmm, well, pause, let me see, pause, pause, pause, we will do, pause, pause, pause, what is necessary, pause, pause, pause, to close that, pause, pause, pause, chapter in American, pause, pause, pause, history. Yes Mr. Obamatanamo, but where ya gonna stash 'em? Where are them there man-made disasters gonna go? Hello? Mr. President? D'OH! I guess I will have to get back to you with a brilliant most excellent plan ever conceived by MAN. OK we will wait...

13 comments:

Bungalow Bill said...

One word to describe Obama: CLUELESS!

Anonymous said...

Tee hee.... pot smokers... indeed. Good bye 70's and WAKE UP~~~~ Not all of our presidents will be on cocaine in high school so it won't be this easy~~~~

namaste said...

uh huh. i remember the footage shown when he signed some papers to close gitmo. he said some dumb crap like, "that takes care of that!" as he signed. friggin fag! girl obama in a friggin skirt. i remember thinking, how old is he, TWELVE?!! the only thing that was missing was his tongue hooked outside the corner of his mouth as he signed. like he was dotting his i's with hearts and wanted the world to read his diary. FRIGGIN GIRL!!!

idiot.

hahaha! nnniiiiccceee, nik.

Nikki said...

Maria!!! I need to give you some blog time to come up with some funny Obamaisms!! Dotting i's with hearts is sooooo classic I LOVE IT!! Freaking fag! LMAO>>>>and can't stop! :)N

emptysuit said...

he was just anxious to slam a Bush policy, now it's backfiring and he looks stupid.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

I wonder what President Obama plans to do about United States Code Title 8, Section 1182? This law prohibits the admission of any alien into the United States if said alien...
- "has engaged in terrorist activity";
- is believed reasonably by the government to be engaged in, or likely to engage in after entry, any terrorist activity;
- is a representative of a terrorist organization or a "political, social, or other group that endorses or espouses terrorist activity";
- is a member of a terrorist organization ("unless the alien can demonstrate by clear and convincing evidence that the alien did not know, and should not reasonably have known, that the organization was a terrorist organization");
- endorses or espouses terrorist activity or persuades others to endorse or espouse terrorist activity or join a terrorist organization;
- has "received military-type training... from or on behalf of any organization that, at the time the training was received, was a terrorist organization."

So... just asking... how are these guys at Gitmo going to be admitted to the United States, even if they are heading straight for prison? Because - and I know the Attorney General has been reminded of this little tripping point - it is against the law. It's not even arguable. Every single one of the jihadists in custody at Guantanamo Bay could have one or more clauses of this law applied to him.

And the President cannot simply sign an executive order to override it - the law would have to be appealed or amended by Congress in order for even a single Guantanamo detainee to be admitted to the United States. How many Congresspersons want to be sign up for that one?

So if Obama can't bring 'em to a lock-up or neighbourhood near you - where is he going to put them when Gitmo is closed?

Hello? Hello? Barack, you there? [Sound of dial tone...]

ba and the boys said...

i had forgotten about the whole 'that takes care of that' media mega event. that is funny because in movies when the hero says 'that takes care of that' a bigger alien/tornado/dead bad guy usually pops out of nowhere.
funny stuff.

Khaki Elephant said...

Seriously, does this guy ever think anything through before he bumbles into action?

He's bankrupting the auto industry after giving billions, his handling of the banks is a disaster, his plan to dismantle the Patriot Act turned into expanding it, Closing Gitmo . . . this guy is a walking nightmare.

And Namaste, I'll be laughing about your comment for days.

Clifton B said...

Nikki:

I never thought I could laugh so much over a sad state of affairs. Excellent post, I love how you drive home the point that he doesn't have jack $%@! when it comes to a plan.

Nikki said...

Clifton B, I am the queen of the smart asses!!! I think we should all be so annoying! HA! :)N

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Oh my god, Namaste, someone needs to photoshop that ceremony with a bow in his hair and have the paper say "Dear Diary, I am SOOO excited!!! I closed Gitmo." And, of course, Gitmo would be dotted with a little heart. Both of you are brilliant and are smart asses...what a combo.

I just finished watching the signing again on You Tube and it is repulsive to watch, but now I can giggle especially that we know his own fellow jack asses are holding out on him now.

namaste said...

@ happy, LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's a good idea!

nik, got any photoshop skillz? haha!

Nikki said...

Nope no photo shop skillz for me...I do know how to steal other peeps photoshop creations though, if that counts! I love being a brilliant smart ass!! Birds of a feather, tight Maria?!! LOL! :)N