Sunday, August 23, 2009


BlankI once did a post where a commenter was so bent out of shape (and rightfully so, I was very rude) that they called me a "wingtard". I wasn't offended. I really wasn't. If I am going to throw around totally rude insults, then I have to be able to take a few thrown my way. I get that. And when you have been blogging for as long as I have, well, you get to be called a lot of choice wonderful things. Of course, I am often still surprised by some of the comments trolls dish out, but most are expected. None who read this blog regularly are ever surprised by what comes out of this brain and onto the monitor at any given time. I do kiss my mother with this mouth. So it all evens out. Back to the wingtard name I was called. It was pretty stinking funny and I thought very clever. I decided at that very moment that you could put "tard" at the end of pretty much any word and it would not only be insulting, but considerably funny. Obamatard, libtard, demtard, asstard etc. etc. Have some fun with that one bloggertards.
Some people get offended by the term "retard". I want to explain to you, the reader, why retard is not offensive. Again, this is according to me, take it with a grain of salt.
Words through out time take on different meanings. GAY back in the 1890's meant happy. The decade itself was called "the gay 90's". It was a time of some prosperity and happiness. Parents named their children Gaylynn or Gaylord without a second thought. The word had no other meaning than that of happy, happy people. Remember the Christmas carol where they all donned their "gay apparel"? They were wearing party clothes for the celebration of Christmas, and they were happy. It didn't mean the men were dressed in drag and the women were wearing basketball uniforms(stereotype warning: roll eyes and sigh now and pray for my ignorance)for goodness sake. Though they may have been behind the scenes, I don't really know.
Then in the late 70's and 80's the term took on a different meaning. It very well could have been before these two decades but, I was born in '67 so anything before that I can't account for. The word took on the meaning of HOMO-SEXUAL. No need to explain the meaning of gay in this way, I am sure you get my point. Now days, many kids or teenie boppers use the term GAY to mean stupid, dumb, lame or uncool. Yea its offensive to many gay people, but who is gonna tell the kiddies to change up their lingo? Not me. Some other words that have taken on differing cultural meanings are PIMPIN and SICK. For us oldies, the equivalents would be, cool or awesome. Michael Jackson and RUN-DMC both coined BAD as cool back in the 80's. Michael was bad yea bad, meaning tough and cool. RUN-DMC explained to us that "He's a big bad wolf in your neighborhood, not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good". So when someone said I was a bad girl in the 80's, I would just say, why yes I am thank you very much.
Political correctness also has changed the meaning of some words. An example of PC changing our vocabulary would be how the word retarded is used. I have had a few emails of people who hate it when I describe someone or something as being retarded. They find it offensive. Fair enough. But, the word is no longer used to describe an individual with physical or mental disabilities(though one could make the argument that it does when referring to liberals). If anyone were to call a person with real "physical challenges" or "mental challenges" a retard, like we used to back in the 70's and 80's, that would be pretty bad. I am not even sure the word "handicap" is appropriate anymore. Hmmmm, maybe I will kidnap that word. Anyway, the term is no longer acceptable in describing the physically or mentally challenged. This is not a bad thing. The term was rejected by many, as those in higher education wanted to change the stigmatic word. Much like the term negro is no longer acceptable to describe black people or African Americans.
Since the word retarded has been abandoned and left for dead and is homeless floating in outer space hated and shunned by all, it is only natural that it be hijacked, kidnapped and refaced by culture word surgeons. If you saw a lonely puppy wandering the street with no owner, would you leave it alone to die? No you would rescue it, give it a new name and love it like it was your own. Chris Farley in "Tommy Boy" was the first that I remember that said "I'm retarded" after hitting his head on a beam. I cracked up! It was funny. Please stop being so sensitive and understand the ever changing dictionary. So without further adieu, I introduce you to the new and improved definition of RETARDED or RETARD as found in the Urban Dictionary:
Retarded: An "unofficial"(not recognized by dictionaries) slang descriptor for a person/thing/action/object, etc., or a combination of, which is one or more of the following:
a waste of time, abandoned, abject, abominable, abortive, absurd, afraid, aimless, anxious, apprehenaive, arid, arrested, assailable, atomic, awful, baby, babyish, backward, bad, banal, barmy, barren, base, baseless, bastard, beastly, beggarly, behind, beside the question, blah, bland, bogus, bomb, bootless, boyish, brainless, bromidic, bummer, caitiff capricious, careless, catchpenny, characterless, cheap, checked, cheesy, childish, childlike, clich├ęd, cloying, coarse, colorless, common, commonplace, confusing, contemptible, contemptible, controvertible, conventional, cool, corn, cornball, corny, corrupt, counterproductive, cowering, cracked, crap, crappy, craven, crazy, crud, cruddy, daffy, daft, dastardly, dazed, dead, deadpan, deficient, degraded, degrading, dejected, delayed, delusive, dense, dense, deplorable, depraved, despicable, destitute, detestable, devoid, diffident, dim, diminutive, dippy, directionless, dirty, disgraceful, dishonest, dishonorable, dismayed, disposable, disreputable, dizzy, dodo, doltish, dopy, dotterel, down, downtrodden, drab, drifting, drudging, dull, dumb, empty, empty-headed, erratic, evanescent, everyday, evildoer, excessive, exhausted, expendable, expressionless, facetious, failed, failing, faint-hearted, fallacious, false, fanciful, fatuous, fawning, featherbrained, feeble, feebleminded, fickle, flaky, flashy, flat, flighty, flimsy, flip, flippant, fool, fool around, foolish, for grins, forlorn, fortuitous, foul, freaked out, freaky, frightened, frivolous, frothy, fruitless, futile, gagged up, garbage, garish, gay, giddy, girlish, glitzy, goalless, good-for-nothing, goofy, green, gross, groundless, groveling, grungy, gullible, gutless, hackneyed, half-baked, half-witted, hang dog, harebrained, heedless, ho hum, hokey, hokum, hollow, hopeless, humble, humbling, humdrum, humiliating, idiotic, idle, ignoble, ignominious, ignorant, ill-advised, ill-considered, illogical, imbecile, immaterial, immature, immobile, immoral, impassive, implausible, impracticable, impractical, improbable, inadequate, inane, inapplicable, inappreciable, incidental, inconceivable, incongruous, inconsequential, inconsiderable, incredible, indelicate, indiscreet, indiscriminate, ineffective, ineffectual, inept, inessential, inexpressive, infamous, infantile, inferior, inglorious, inscrutable, insensate, insignificant, insincere, insipid, insufficient, interminable, inutile, irksome, irrational nonsensical, irrelevant, irresolute, irresponsible, jejune, jittery, joking, joshing, junky, juvenile, kid stuff, kooky, lacking courage, lame, late, laughable, lemon, lifeless, light, light-minded, lily-livered, little, loathsome, loony, loser, lousy, low, low-born, lowly, lowly, low-ranking, ludicrous, mangy, meager, mean, meaningless, measly, mediocre, menial, mentally incompetent, meretricious, microscopic, mindless, minor, minute, indecisive, miscarried, miscreant, miserable, modest, momentary, monkey, monotonous, moronic, moth-eaten, naive, needless, negligible, nervous, niggling, nihil ad rem, no bargain, no dice, no good, no guts, no place, no-account, nonessential, nonsensical, not at issue, not serious, not to the purpose, nothing, nowhere, nugatory, hopeless, nuts, nutty, objectless, obscure, obtuse, odd, off offensive, old hat, old-fashioned, ordinary, otiose, outcast, paltry, panicky, pathetic, pedestrian, peripheral, petty, piddling, pitiable, pitiful, platitudinous, playful, plebeian, pointless, poker-faced, poor, potty, pre-kindergarten, preposterous, primitive, profitless, proletarian, prosaic, puerile, puny, purposeless, pusillanimous, random, rash, ratty, raunchy, recreant, removable, repetitious, result less, retiring, rinky-dink, rotten, rough, routine, rubbishy, run scared, sappy, scandalous, scanty, scared, scatterbrained, screwy, scrubby, scurvy, second-rate, seemly, senseless, sentimental, servile, severe, shabby, shallow, shameful, shiftless, shoddy, shopworn, shrinking, shtick, shy, silly, simple, simple-minded, skin-deep, sleazy, slight, slimy, slow, sluggish, small, small time, soft, sordid, sorry, sorry lot, spineless, sportive, squalid, square, stale, stale, stark, stereotyped, sterile, stiff, stock, stodgy, stolid, stray, stuffy, stupefied, stupid, submissive, subnormal, superficial, superfluous, tame, tatty, tawdry, tedious, terrible, the subject, the willies, thick, thickheaded, thin, thoughtless, threadbare, timid, timorous, tired, tiresome, tiring, tomfool, tongue-in-cheek, transparent, trashy, trifling, tripe, trite, trivial, trumpery, ugly, unassuming, unavailing, unbelievable, uncommunicative, unconvincing, uncouth, underdeveloped, underfoot, underprivileged, undevelopedundirected, undistinguished, unessential, unexciting, unexpressive, unfit, ungrounded, unguided, unimaginative, unimportant, unintelligent, unmanly, unnecessary, unneeded, unoriginal, unpersuasive, unplanned, unpredictable, unpretentious, unproductive, unprofitable, unreal, unreasonable, unrefined, unrelated, unsatisfactory, unsophisticated, noncommital, unsubstantial, unsuccessful, unthinking, unusable, unvaried, unworthy, uselessvacant, vacuous, vagrant, vaguevain, valueless, vanishing, vapid, vile, plebeian, volatile, vulgar, wackywandering, wanton, waste, watery, wayward, weak, wearisome, well-worn, whimsical, white elephant, wide of the mark, wide of the point, wishful, wishy-washy, witless, worthless, wretched, or yucky. There are literally a thousand different uses for the slang version of "retarded" - (Quick note:) Usage-wise, it came before and set the precedence of the way we use "gay" in slang today - used correctly, they're practically interchangable.
And let me add democrat! HA!


namaste said...

silly as it sounds, retard has long been one of my favorite words. it's never had anything to do with mental disability to me. thanks for doing a great write up about it! to me it defines the ridiculously stupid. LOL!

Sandi said...

The part about the word "gay" reminded me of the Tim McGraw song about back when coke was Coca Cola, crank was something on a car. Hell, in England they call cigarettes "fags"! Of course, that's England...

Talk about retard, when I first saw your title I thought it said "Redefining Retired"! Geesh.

namaste said...

i re-read this post today. it really was very clever. it's always interesting to learn how things evolve over time in our society.
as for the word "gay" how did that word get hijacked for homosexual men? it's kind of funny.

great read, nik!

Righty64 said...

Excellent post! I do not ususally use the term "libertard" on my site, but I sure say it often enough, especially talking about things with the missus. I have seen the term Celebrtard in the New York Post (America's great newspaper!) on Page Six. Of course we are not trying to insult those that do, through no fault of their own, have mental issues. At least they have an excuse! When some libertard just likes to rail the party line and does not have a mind of their own, well, they deserve to be called what they are. Anyhow, great post!

HannahJ said...

I guess the sad part for me as a parent of a child with special needs is that you have to be a family member to understand why the words retard or retarded is so demeaning and offensive. Sure, you think of the word as a lonely puppy sitting out there waiting to be adopted. I think of it as a word that strips my child of her dignity and is dehumanizing. When Chris Farley hit his head on a beam and said "I'm retarded" what was he really saying? That he was stupid and clumsy and a clod. I'm guessing that this is because this is your vision of people living with cognitive impairment. My daughter reads, writes, and is very aware of people who stare and people who mock.
Personally I don't think it has anything to do with being p.c. I think it's about listening to what others are saying about the word and then taking it from there. No one is trying to take away your right to use it. Just wondering why you would knowing the pain it causes. You see a lost puppy, I see a pit bull.
Best wishes.

namaste said...

oh please hannah get over yourself. i know what it feels like to push my child around the mall in a wheelchair and have people stare. so what? big deal! give the violin speech a rest.

i don't think there's anyone among us without some kind of hard luck story who could claim a right to being offended by WORDS. so hush it!

Nikki said...

HannahJ, I think it is probably a good idea to not think the world revolves around you and your special needs child. I have no idea who you are, why would it be painful to you that I call liberals or democrats retards? I don't get it. Is special needs really any better? My son is an only child, couldn't I assume he has "special" needs being my only one? My friends son has ADD, doesn't she have a son with "special" needs. My neighbor is getting a divorce, I would say her children have special needs. Your pain and offense is unwarranted. Stop teaching your child that they are different and when people refer to retards they mean her or him. That to me would make a lot more sense. And I am sure you have called someone an idiot or crazy at some point. Should everyone on Prozac take offense when you say "you're crazy!"...don't think so. :)N

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

This post reminded me of so many jokes that I totally can't tell in this forum. I know I'm standing toe-to-toe with Karma... calling her all sorts of naughty names, but I can't help myself.

Someday I'll be mature... but hopefully never any more mature than you, Nikki. Please let me stop maturing when you did. You're my idol. Seriously.


Nikki said...

Calvin, I started physically maturing in the 4th grade. I wore a good solid B cup, for real, first girl with boobs. Mentally I stopped maturing in the 7th grade and it was all down hill from there. But you know life really is like Jr. High, it's totally all about surviving puberty! :)N

Nikki said...

Maria, I wonder too how gay became homo-sexual...I guess it just worked because they donned some "gay" apparel! HA! We crack ourselves up :)N

skiriki said...

Nikki, you are my kinda a girl and I don't mean that in a gay way! lol! Love your blog. Found it by way of Namaste's. Your and I share the same sense of humor. :-P~

I was picked on when I was a kid. The other kids called me a dog and barked at me. I told them they were retarded. Guess what? I was right! BWAHAHAHA!

Nikki said...

skiriki...thanks for making me laugh with your comment! :)N

susana said...

Angry right wing-tards boos John McCain w/video

Nikki, may I call you nick for short, cuz I feel like we could be BFFS.. Thanks so much for the "tard" thing. I'm sure you don't mind if I use off my "big tweet-tard" thingy. It has really been fun, and ohhhh so many retweets. Thanks sweetie, I'll be back in a few days to see what other brilliant linguistic-tard leaps you've come up with.

"Big Surprise: Dick-tard Cheney ia liar

"Poll: Arkansan-tards Trust Limbaugh Than Obama | TPMDC"

"This loser lady-tard now speaking at the McCain town hall -

FOX TARDS..need I say more?

susana said...

Really, you're on to something, this "-tard" suffix could go viral. I promise I will give you credit.

Nikki said...

susana, your comment is a little odd. But that is ok. I would recommend playing in the kiddie pool before diving in the deep end when it comes to create-a-tard lingo. Not everyone can pull it off and copy cats are gay. :)N

Pamela D. Hart said...

Nikki: I LOVE your blog. You are following me...goodness knows why I have SO many cyber-TARDS! SEE it WORKS! I LOVE IT and I'm gonna start using it for EVERYTHING. I think you should copywrite it, at least!

I use "retard" when describing my ability with "texting" and I NEVER mean any offense to those with "special needs". I am very sensitive to those who have "special needs" and know what it's like to have a family member in a wheelchair. A story for another day.

People need to lighten up and realize WE ALL have sob stories.

Nikki said...

Thanks Pamela! Feel free to ride the tard wagon...if it offends the left let's do it right?! Thanks for following and I love your blog too! :)N