Wednesday, October 21, 2009

WIMPY WIMPY WIMPY


I have often thought that the male of today is the pussiest male in history. No offense to conservative men, at least you dudes are manly enough to be a gun toting, terrorist hating ball crusher when it comes to politics. Unlike the liberal male who is in touch with his emotions and "feels" such strong empathy for the sorry "poor" people of society. BLEH! Liberals are so feminine.
At any rate, I now have proof of this claim! An anthropologist has done a study and has determined that the modern male is the wimpiest MAN EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME AND I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT! He says that many aboriginal WOMEN could beat the crap out of today's male after chasing them down first. The demasculinizing(I think I made that up) of the modern male is as real as the evolution on my face and you heard it here first ladies, oh yea and gentlewomen. I love it when science and I meet up and make babies. And I quote
"If you're reading this then you -- or the male you have bought it for -- are the worst man in history. No ifs, no buts -- the worst man, period...As a class we are in fact the sorriest cohort of masculine Homo sapiens to ever walk the planet."

LMAO! I blame it on liberalism. Mostly because everything bad stems from liberals. The evolutionary de-balling of the male in America can be blamed on pot smoking hippies who acid tripped themselves straight to a skinny boney body. This is why so many men prefer that their women look like 12 year olds. It's because their penises have shrunk to post-neanderthal sizes! It is all so clear. Look at who Hollywood markets to us, freaking Jude Law, Tom Cruise, Robert Redford, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp, Ethan Hawke, Sean Penn, Clive Owen and last but not least...Brad Pitt. All of them pretty(except for Sean Penn who is fugly), short and completely girly. It's a cultural phenomenon and I not only play a scientist on my blog but I also am every woman and it's all in me on the blogoshpere and I say, MAN UP men. Go hunting or something. Recapture your manhood.
Complete article here: MODERN MAN A WIMP SAYS ANTHROPOLOGIST


*As if we didn't know, right? Look at our President. Paint the White House pink already!

23 comments:

Sue said...

OK fess up, your ideal man?? Hulk Hogan, John(Marian)Wayne, any one of those manly wrestling guys?? Give me Redford, Pitt, Clooney any ole day Mmmmmmm Mmmmm Good!!!

Nikki said...

Definitely Josh Lucas, Russell Crowe, John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Dwayne the rock...for sure guys like that who used to kick ass! Hulk Hogan not so much. ew. :)

namaste said...

EXCELLENT POST! GREAT TOPIC! oh yes, can we talk! obama kicks this off with his FAG girly ways! after that baseball toss i am convinced michelle slaps him around. i know for sure that i can beat the crap out of him. i HATE a pussy, i swear! nothing i hate worse than a pussy man. yuck!

i like a man's man. i like knowing that my hubby would CCCRRRUSSSHH a man with his bare hands to protect ME and my family. he's not afraid of hard and constant work. and that friggin turns me on! i HATE all these girly men in this generation. like ashton kusher (PUNK) and the reality show male sluts looking for substitute nipples cuz their moms were forced by law to ween them. i HATE the wusses of this generation! UGH! and the STUPID incestual women that raised them! GAWD!

geez! you always manage to find muy hot buttons, nik. great post!

Larry Durham said...

You make a very accurate observation.

I'm heading out the door right now to whip somebody's butt.

Nikki said...

Maria, I have wanted to comment on your comment but for some reason I get side tracked...but you are so funny and your comment should be in the comment hall of fame if there were one. Maybe there should be!! :)N

Nikki said...

Larry...BEAT THEM DOWN!!! WOOHOO! :)N

namaste said...

LOL! i just call em as i see em, nik.

;-)

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

I was going to join Larry at the scene of the butt-kicking, but I have a hangnail bothering me on my left hand. I think I caught it on some lovely drapes at the interior decorator's office. Once I go for my manicure next week, I'll be able to back up Larry.

As long as I can find something to match my Ralph Loren scarf.

EDGE said...

John Wayne & Jimmy Stewart...two of the coolest men that ever walked planet "Erf."

Nikki said...

El C, You described the "new male" to a T! I am happy to report that you didn't pull it off! You have too much maleness to know Ralph Loren is actually Lauren. Whew. HOORAY for testosterone! :)N

Nikki said...

Edge...OMG! LOVE LOVE LOVE Jimmy Stewart! You are so right! :)N

skiriki said...

So right on, Nik. Guess that's why I'm attracted to the bad boys. Still. Don't get me wrong. You don't marry them, but they sure are fun to play with. ;) I have always liked my men rough around the edges. Facial hair, yep. If he doesn't have hair on his chest, be suspicious! Flannel shirts, leather jackets. Mmm mmm mmm. You know what they say about us redneck girls? We like us some bad boys, bad-a$$ cars and guns. We know how to have a good time.

skiriki said...

On a more serious note, tho, I've always thought that it was the women of this nation that forced men into that feminine role. All those men-hating single moms that made their boys be nice and play gently instead of letting them be rough and tumble and play like, well, boys. I really don't want my man getting in touch with his feminine side. I want to know that if the time comes and I need him to kick some a$$ for my protection, he'll be able to rise to the occasion. I don't care how much football he watches, how much beer he drinks or how much time he spends working on his car. In fact, all those things just turn me on. Embrace the male of the species! Go hug a man today!

Sandi said...

First of all, the guy in the pink panties is hot! No, no, I'm kidding. But please don't call too much attention to this topic. The world would probably be a better place if ruled by women so the wimpier the men become, the better for us!

Nikki said...

skiriki, I think you are right about us women playing a part of the feminizing of men. So many women want a more sensitive male, fair enough and there is nothing un-masculine about a males emotions. However, there is a big difference between being who we are and who society wants us as gender roll players to be...great points! :)N

Nikki said...

Sandi, sometimes women are tougher and smarter than men, no doubt about that! But I think PMS could cause a lot of conflict and wars...;)N

skiriki said...

Oh yeah! I get PMS soooooo bad! And all the other bad symptoms, too. I used to joke that PMS was the real reason no female would ever be president in this country. Can you imagine being pissy and having a meeting with heads of state? OMG! "Did I ask you what you thought? No, I didn't! You sit there and I'll TELL YOU WHAT YOU THINK! OK?" Yeah, that wouldn't go over real well, I don't think. I am so looking forward to menopause.

Sarah said...

Oh my gosh, this entire post had me laughing until I cried! Soooooo true! All of it! :) I think maybe the proper word would be 'emasculization', but I liked yours better! Oh man, give me John Wayne over Tom Cruise any day! And don't forget Paul Newman. It really IS a turn-on when my man sticks up for me when needed. And don't get me wrong; I'm no shrinking violet myself. I am a very capable, independent, modern(ish) woman who can hold her own. But it's so great to know that your man's got your back, and would break out the .22 if I or my kids were being harassed. Nothing in the world is hotter! Great observation, and what an awesome quote!

Sarah said...
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Sarah said...

PS Clooney is totally out. He is afraid of committing himself to anyone, (so obviously shown through his dating tactics. He picks girls as if they're a flavor-of-the-month) and so stuck on 'living the bachelor life' that he will die an old, wrinkled, and terribly lonely man.
Pitt hinges his happiness and commitment to his partner on a political agenda, and he gets weirder every year. No thank you!

Nikki said...

Sarah, Clooney is soooooo girly! Not only is he a flaming liberal, but yes as you say, a non-committal flower hopping slut who prefers Europe to America! Great comment, one that could be a post on its own...:)N

Stop the presses/ Patrick said...

Not all gay men are wimpy. Did anyone read about how the Muslims, Gays Clash Over French Soccer Match?

Tensions were high at the beginning of the match after the Muslim team refused to remove their headwear and the gay team refused to tuck in the shirts and instead wore them tied at their waist. After several minor incidents where the gay players were call “gay Satans” and Muslim players where instructed to “talk to the hand”, a melee broke out after the gay team discovered that the Muslins had planted an exploding soccer ball into the game. The ball exploded when a gay player attempted to head the ball into the goal and the resulting explosion mussed the gay player’s hair. An eyewitness at the game reported that after hearing shouts of “Oh no, he did ant”, the gay players attacked, in what the eyewitness said looked like cats attacking balls of yarn. The Muslim team appeared to suffer scratches to their eye areas and it was reported that several of their turbans had become unraveled. The fight ended when the Muslim team retreated toward a nearby mountain range.

Nikki said...

WOOHOO Patrick!! Great story and I must use "di'ant" sometime in a post...lol those bitches are for real! :)N