Tuesday, May 11, 2010

DICTATORS DICTATING WHAT AMERICA EATS


I am not a Michelleulite Obama fan. I don't care if she is the first lady, I think she pretty much sucks at her current roll(and yea I spelled that like the sweet one). Michelle is so obsessed with cellulite that she forgot her husband can only get re-elected if kids are skinny and starving and not fattening up. Or maybe it's the other way around, at any rate remember Dem's it's about the skinny poor starving kids not the rich fatties at tea parties begging for more 7 Eleven money to blow on slurpee's. I know this is a repeat of a previous post but it blows my fat jiggling booty that the WH is harping on such an insignificant and stupid cause. Memo: To: Barack and Michelle Obama: THE ECONOMY IS SUFFERING FROM ANOREXIA AND NO ONE WILL HAVE ANY FOOD IF YOU CONTINUE TO IGNORE OUR NATION'S ECONOMIC SITUATION. Please note the companies closing their doors and laying people off, the record number of foreclosures and our skyrocketing debt. Palm to forehead.
The Obama's are so concerned with the blubber babies that they are using their bully pulpit to demand companies stop marketing unhealthy foods to children. Are you in my kids bedroom and worrying about their "choice" of after school snack? Is this censorship? Where is the ACLU? How come I can only choose when they are in my womb and now it's your job to raise them? Should the administration be allowed to not only intimidate companies, but to also scare consumers by using such terms as "crisis" when referring to kids fat asses? I think this is beyond reproach and more evidence of the invasion of the America snatchers. Nanny Michelle and daddy Obama want less deep fryers and more salad bars in schools. OK this is great guys, it is so awesome and swell that you are concerned about 3rd grader thunder thighs, but do you think that the economy could cross your minds maybe on Thursdays if we leave a yellow sticky on your organic fruit basket? I don't want to interrupt such importantness, but the Titanic is sinking. I think maybe a mass government buy back of the fry daddy is what the doctor ordered. Instead of cash for clunkers maybe you could do a cash for fryers and pay us Americans to be skinny. True dat!!
This is a Michelle and Barack mock. I think Barry needs to gain a few and Michelle needs some dental work, how about that totally righteous Presidential dudes. This fat cause is such boguss nonsense. But so goes the organic American obsession. Organically speaking, I fail to see the importance of no preservatives. Hormone me up you saturated trans-fat-bitches. Perhaps if mothers of America want to unite and push for a more nutritious menu at their local schools, then go for it. Personally, I don't care one little bit what they feed my son at school. I really don't. I can micro-manage his food intake at home and guess what folks...I have already taught him to make good choices on his little lonesome! Now there's a concept! Our rule: If you choose to eat something unhealthy please accompany it with something healthy. If you are getting chicken nuggets please eat the apples instead of the fries. It's easy. So now he eats some junk and some healthy but most importantly guess what else...he doesn't have to eat if he isn't hungry! How many parents yell at their kids to finish their food and then later yell at them to not eat so much! Irony pirony. Parenting and eating are things we idiot parents can do on our own and we don't need the federal government assuming that we are a bunch of tards leading our kids to the Twinkie aisle while they play the XBOX all day. Maybe some parents are, but this is America and we have the choice to be Sumo wrestler look alikes if we want to. The problem is that if the feds are taking over the pricey health care system then they better start mandating veggies and fruits to keep the cost down. You wanted it Dem's and now you have it. The government will now control your every bite, what you watch on the food tube and how companies market to you the consumer. All in the name of what the government deems as good for us tiny planet looking peeps. Such little fatists. You are Fatty bigots first family. How about we mandate big fake boobs and balloon lips for all women and hair plugs and butt implants for men. Now that's important!! In the mean time, keep your paws out of my butter and off my fry daddy! This is America and if I want to slop some lard on the old chard, it's my business. Go skinny up your own Utopia, I like Chuberica!!

11 comments:

tammy said...

"How come I can only choose when they are in my womb and now it's your job to raise them?" -- pretty soon you won't even be able to do that. They'll be telling us what we have to eat while we're pregnant.

Great rant, as always.

Pedaling said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pedaling said...

that commercial, using a fat white kid from hick-town as the problem- with the well dressed, black, food nazi.....hmmm, i'm inclined to think that's racist.

Marci said...

you know me I am all about health, but my passion for choice is even stronger! Love the rant you had me giggling, lard on the chard... maybe that will help is go down :)

bah_gaucha said...

Man, that kid was full of southern sass! :) LOVED IT!

lisa said...

Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell better watch out.
If Elena Kegan gets picked does that mean she will decide if her own diet is healthy enough?

Good point about only able to choose in the womb.

I personally can't stand the way these self appointed superiors think they have the right to experiment with us.
This obsession they have with control is certainly not conducive to modern times.
Our last best "hope" is Nov 2.
Now I can eat,drink and be merry to that.

Brian | Juliana said...

Love it Nikki! And happy belated birthday!

shirley elizabeth said...

That poor "healthy" lady in the video looks starved.

phthaloblu said...

Great rant, Nikki! There are so many great quotes in this one and as someone else said, you had me giggling the whole time. lol! I'm gonna stop eating healthy and even take up drinking and smoking. Since I was very small I have hated...HATED...other people telling me what to do. I made a choice to be healthy and now I'm gonna make one to be unhealthy. The Obeymes can p*ss off. Stay out of my bedroom, Baraaaaghck and keep your fufly wife out of my kitchen.

namaste said...

michelle is just bored and clueless. she never gave a damn about this country until barry's audacity. ugh.

great rant! i see no dissension among the comments. i'm really starting be disappointed by your opposition, nik ;-)

Jesse Cornish is a An Impotent Weirdo said...

Needless to say, this epistle could only had been penned by a pathologically envious, hideously obese woman. Bless you damaged little heart; someone should really put you out of your misery.