Wednesday, November 10, 2010

HORNY? JUST GO TO THE AIRPORT


I think I am against legalized molestation. The jury is still out, but in all fairness I think it's a bad idea even in the name of national security. In my roller-coaster brain, it seems to me that our politically correct world has taken us here. We can no longer narrow down and label our enemy. Reality and truth are not permitted in political correctness, only appeasement and lies. We have to make equal the suspicion bombing field by groping old ladies, housewives, old men, young boys and girls and maybe even puppies. Really TSA? Our choice is either let us take a nude photo of your wobbly bits or let us feel you up when going on vacation? Work hard and prepare to get the goods felt when you want to relax. This is why I hate vacationing, it's seriously too much work. I can stay home and get my jollies and not have to pack my life into one 50 pound suitcase only to have it man handled at the airport. Good-bye Hawaii. Good-bye Vegas. It's not worth it to me to get groped or viewed like a porn star all to prevent some ARAB guy from blowing up an aircraft. See what I said right there? An Arab. A Muslim. Middle Eastern folk are the ones trying to blow us up. And like Maria, yea, I said it. Now I know there are the American Tim McVeigh domestic type terrorists out there, but let's get serious. Is profiling really that bad? Or is it just a politically correct word for statistical evidence that hurts the feelings of a few? The lawsuits will come pouring in and here goes more talk about taxes being raised to cover frivolous booby touching litigation. I am pretty particular about who touches my boobs and I can think of all sorts of words TSA now stands for. But lets be clear about how asinine this is. Government is getting sillier by the minute. I say silly because that is what they say in preschool. It's childish and impish at the same time. And we all thought color-coded threat levels were ridiculous. Now let's grope some babes and pat down some dudes for the security of all and call it protecting the homeland.
How about making the agents part-time medical assistants and they can check for lumps while they are down there? No lumps, no bombs, you may enter the plane! Better yet, bend over and cough and let's check for prostate cancer, too. It's health care and security all at the same time! I love it. Obama should really look into passing some wellness physical/security check legislation. It kills two of his birds with one stone. Sir, we found no bomb residue but your adenoids are swollen up like golf balls. Let me get you a prescription for some antibiotics and please, enjoy your vacation. Ma'am, your body scan showed an increase of testosterone which could be the reason for your excessively hairy pits, hormone replacement will help with that, let me get my note pad. Oh and, you are cleared to get on the plane.
I think it's genius and Obama could really do something great here. Legalize profiling already so we don't have to call the rape crisis center or be humiliated by our bodies being viewed by a bunch of CSI groupies every time we take a flight. Please, don't touch me.
Read more on Operation Grope: Airport Screeners get more aggressive with pat-downs

9 comments:

Sandi said...

I love the new look of your blog! As for the pat-downs, the idea that this will make us safer is ludicrous. People wanting to get bombs or weapons on airplanes will find a way.

Nikki said...

Thanks Sandi!! I agree, if there is a will there is a way...count on it. Not that we shouldn't have measures in place, but this just seems so over the top. :)N

Brian | Juliana said...

Seriously. I don't even want to comment on the glory grabbers, I'm disgusted enough with the full body scans. Women that choose to have naked photos of themselves posted for others to view probably understand that a lot of guys are going to masturbate to them. In fact, they probably like the attention. But the thought of the overweight TSA guy getting his jollies thinking about the body scans he did that day is enough to make me gag.

shirley elizabeth said...

Wait and they're asking for your SSN to fly now too?
Yeah, I'm perfectly fine with road tripping.

namaste said...

this is ridiculous. so true, they've gone overboard with political correctness on this issue.

THANKS for the nod, nik! woo-hoo!! you rock!

;-)

tammy said...

And how stupid is it, that your pilot, who doesn't want to get unnecessary radiation every time he goes to work, gets these full patdowns too?? Seriously, they've already been screened and had full background checks by the FAA. And if they really wanted the plane they're flying to crash, they don't need a bomb to do it!! So stupid!! My husband is not thrilled. And I really don't need myself and my kids groped either.

Janelle said...

If this country was serious about airport security, we would be following the Israel model. Instead, Congress hand us a binky and blanky which cost way too much and isn't effective.

Lisa said...

lol. I love the medical exam you threw in there. Very original.
If I had to choose it would def be a pat down by a female as long as she doesn't look like Elena Kagan or Janet Napolitano.
I am picky about my pat downs.

Henry said...

I found that different airport has different sensitivity of the metal detector. My metal denture triggered once in Beijing airport. A male officer used a handheld metal detector ran through my whole body. (Female officer for female passenger). I saw more female passenger had to go through once of the handheld device.
Next time, I am ready to take off my clothes and refuse to go through the full body scanner if TSA want me to. Why bother and expose to the Xray!