Enjoy and Merry FROGMAS!! Originally posted on December 18th 2009!
Every year in December I try to make fun of the cry baby atheist butt heads and this year is no different. I must call out the atheist church and state separatists who curl up and pee in their pants when Christmas comes to town hall. SIGH. Every year I think I am going to get someone fired at Target if Darwin forbid, I say Merry freaking Christmas. The clerk usually starts crying and says Happy Holidays? In the form of a question no less, not knowing if the person is boycotting stores who don't say CHRISTMAS or if they are some anal retentive atheist, Jew or Kwanzaa person who will implode if they hear the word Merry and Christmas.(I have no idea what the hell Kwanzaa is) So this little diddy is for you my sad little Jesus fraidy cats who have nothing better to do than complain and I hope it makes you feel better when you try to kill Christmas. Trust me I know what it is like to bitch and moan about retarded stuff. I do it all the time so I am not judging you. I am just making fun of you because you are so silly this time of year. I think its hilarious that you have to put on a garlic necklace like a vampire when you see the ten commandments or a nativity scene at the city and county building. Like I always say, mix in some sugar or some heavily spiked eggnog and roll with it. Buy some shiz and help the economy. I promise, if you come up with some sort of winter celebration celebrating atheism, I will join the fun. Call it winter evolutionmas and celebrate by eating lots of food and putting presents under a big neanderthal statue or something. You could write some songs about Charles like, Silent evolution, Holy evolution, all is calm, all is evolving, round yon virgin she is a hot, please have my child. You could do plays about evolution and scientific theories and as long as there is a sugar cookie and some punch at the end...I'M IN!! Can't we all just get along? A tree at the court house doesn't have to send you into outer space Jesus hell. No one is establishing a religion by putting up pretty lights. No one changed the name of city hall to Jesus hall just because a reindeer dons the front lawn. You can think to yourself, WOW a tree with pretty colored lights...I once had an acid trip like that in college. I appreciate all religions and non-religions. And as soon as you ask me how I feel about green gasses, climate change and the government imposing that ridiculous spaghetti monster on me, then I guess I will listen to your freedom from religion seepage. Until then...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!