Wednesday, January 26, 2011

ASSESSING THE ASSES...


Sooooooooo I watched the big speech. The one that was lackluster at best and a total snore. The State of the Union speech is always boring even if I dig the dude giving the thing and he is naked. The applause is always annoying and let's face it folks, isn't it really just one big long commercial for the President to say "HEY! I'm cool, your cool. Let's continue to be cool like bff's and boogie for another 4". You know it's true. So all you Obama tongue waggers keep it in check and play Abe for one. little . second.
I must commend the President for moving the speech to the center. Not that dude is drinking the tea, he still prefers the kool-aid, but dude went on a trip to freeze the spending planet, debtatron and set up a Popsicle shop. Maybe, just maybe, he heard the smart peeps speaking and not just the goober for brain donkey trons. I sincerely doubt it, but it made for some good ASSessing from the talking heads after the water-boarding errrrr speech was over, though the spin didn't stop there. Heads were blah, blah, blahing about BI-PARTISANSHIP!! Put a sock in it and while you are at it smack Joe Biden upside the head. Joe is in need of some technological innovation. Perhaps he is why the world thinks China is smarter than us?? Give it some thought.
I found fascinating all the talk about "Winning in the future" and "investing in innovation". It was good rhetoric to suck on and semi-clap worthy content. The clapping was to a minimum and at one point I thought Harry Reid remembered where he was and actually swooned with admiration and a cell phone wave. Oh Harry, you are so scary.
I found it distasteful the way the President went off on us brain injured Americans. Reiterating our mental retardation state of being so low on the totum pole of educationtards around the globe was lamespice. Do we really need some brain transplants from some communist ridden country? Who cares if freaking China kicks our asses in techno smarts? Am I supposed to give up my child's play time to ensure that he be as smart as a freaking curve ruining foreign exchange student? Freedom or world lobe domination? Hmmmm, I don't know? Ok, I choose freedom. Why not mention the suicide rate in China and then speak to me about brain power. How about we work on China dishing out some human rights and then we'll think THEY are smart. Rocket science in dictatorville does nothing for my moon. Super smart oppressed people do not get my envy. Envy me, I am free....to be retarded.
I didn't care for the camera guy spanning the room just to get a shot of Stewart Smalley like it was a freaking Laker game. Call me when Jack Nicholson is a Senator and then I will care. NOT.
The speech was dull. It lacked many one liners a President can only dream and "ask not" about. At times I may have grinned when Nancy looked like she was sitting on her phone and it was on vibrate and butt dialing her posse. Seriously, who smiles that much?? Someone who gets a lot shiz for free or someone whose bills are paid for by a bunch of high Californians, that's who.
I am not gonna dissect the speech and go Hannity on the unachievable content. It's like saying the night sure is dark. I know it is. That's why I am inside with the lights on. Obvious things don't need to be stated. I suppose if I had a one hour show where I had to say something resembling anything, I would state obvious stuff or if I were President and had to give a super long unable to brag speech so I am gonna go with futuristic stuff that won't be achieved until 2035, then I would. But until then, I will stick with the run-on and conclude this post....

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