Thursday, February 17, 2011

WHEN BOOBS TALK ABOUT BREAST FEEDING


Sarah Palin took a "mocking tone" at Michelle Obama, according to CNN, while speaking to a group of business owners in New York. The headline reads "Palin Mocks Michelle Obama." WOW, I could really slide into a Sarah Palin deranged cramp about that piece of non-information. Snore. This just in: Santa scolded elf for leaving refrigerator door open in North Pole where the temperature is the same in and outside of the fridge.
I love it when the hyper-sensitive call-out the hyper-sensitive. Especially when the news is slow and most of us are snoring ourselves to death. This dissing tone is a total boob implant and it's as if I planned this little show myself. The comment CNN went all double D over, referred to Michelle Obama's plug for breast-feeding. Palin made this comment "No wonder Michelle Obama is telling people to breast feed their babies, because the price of milk is rising so high."
Who friggin cares? The price is, and......I just drifted off this topic is so boring. What was I talking about?? Oh yea, boobs.
Just so you know, all blog posts about boobs get trolled by the porn freaks who google "boob" regularly, so consider this a shameless traffic generating post that's about to go nipply on some babies. It's a scientific fact that all liberals were breast fed while the more intelligent, independent republicans were lactose intolerant formula babies. We didn't latch on to the government like the libs did. Get the bibs.
First of all, we have twins. Michelle and Sarah are twins. Babies who suck. I know this is of course going to cost me some readers for hating on Sarah, but focus on the Michelle diss and then we can still be friends. Kinda clever, totally true and somewhat funny was the Sarah comment. I saw no mention of the breast-feeding comment on FOX(feel free to correct I have no time to dig any deeper than I did). Kudos to FOX for not plugging non-news. I did find it interesting that the publicity for this comment by CNN was combo'ed up with a brief mention of Sarah hiring a chief of staff and again stating her ability to "lead this country" and other worthless comments on Egypt. The article was a short waste of space and I am dumber for reading it. Sarah threw out statements in her speech about how this administration is "flip-flopping" on Egypt and how the Muslim brotherhood believes in sharia law. STAND BACK FELLAS! WOW! So informative! Now feel free to rip on the administration as though that was an amazingly nuanced statement of outerspace and the people who reside there, SP. Sarah doesn't have a stellar grasp on the situation in the Middle East and when a cartwheel turner calls someone a flip flopper, I must laugh. Snore. Sarah has no idea what sharia law even is. There is no joke here, I just like saying SHARIA LAW. Feel free to red pen the preposition I just ended my sentence....with.
It's all yard gnome material. Yea, go sit in someones yard and act all innocent when we know you little gnomes come alive at night and terrorize cats and step on flowers. That's what I see here. You're not a real plant in a garden Sarah, you're just a scary little plastic thing that acts like it belongs. Someone bought you like yard decor and yard gnomes are purchased at Wal-Mart. They are the fruitcake of the garden. But, I like the Michelle mock and I give gnome props for that. I suppose Sarah does have a place in the Republican party or what some call the "conservative" movement. But let's not crack jokes about inflated milk prices and babies sucking boobs when we are way too in the bra of feed me a line please, ourselves. Just sayin.
As for Michelle, Barack and the other breast-feeding freaks out there. Keep your far reaching governmental hands off my breasts. They are spectacular, but must you constantly spew self-righteous, organic bullshit?? Go ahead and spill the stats about blah, blah, blah breast-feeding advantages, blah, blah, blah. We get it. Breast-feeding is best. I suppose I would listen if you didn't have Al Gore the wonder globe warming errrr climate change wizard on speed dial. Dude is a scientific fraud and quite frankly you "discriminating" against those who CHOOSE not to breast-feed and those who CAN'T breast feed is beyond the scope of your liberalism. I would like a 5 page summary describing to me how this is a pro-choice stand and better yet, a non-discriminatory agenda. Not all boobs lactate and how can you hurt their feelings and the women who adorn them? You are not offering an equal booby playing field and I am going to tell mother sucking earth on you.
I'm not trying to be difficult, but I could care less about breast-feeding. Do it. Don't do it. It's up to you and your....titties. CNN making a federal case out of one slightly humorous comment is evidence of a slow news cycle and a desperate left agenda. Is there a need for more riots in the world so we don't have to read headlines about booby mocks and the women who make them? I really don't care what Sarah says and I certainly couldn't care less about....I can't say BF anymore. This post is over. Keep the news real and put the gnome back in the yard. And for hell sake let's have a reduction in boob talk.

6 comments:

namaste said...

LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY!!

especially about the gnomes scaring the cats and stepping on the flowers! WOOOOT!! you crack me the hell up!

:-D

MRMacrum said...

From what my Goldwater Republican mother told me, I was nursed from the Republican sanctioned formula available in all Winn Dixies. Just where did I go wrong, she would often ask me?

Good question.

BTW - good rant. I am starting to warm up to you.

Nikki said...

Maria!!! Glad you laughed...time to chat girlie! :)N

Nikki said...

MRMacrum, I am definitely an acquired taste...much softer in reality than in my posts, always remember that!! :)N

Sandi said...

I would love to go for a day - no, make that a week! - without any news story about Sarah Palin or Justin Bieber. They both make me want to poke my eyes out.

Janelle said...

Funny, Nikki, and I could really, really do with a couple of weeks w/o the first wookie and his bride weighing in on every little thing happening in this country. Seriously, POTUS and FLOTUS, we are not interested in all your input about everything............even if you were right at least 1/90th of the time.